Cheesy Grossness

Cheese Whiz is something that I have only tried once and it was absolutely vomatrocious. It made me incredibly sick and I cannot understand how people enjoy it. I mean eating it on a cracker is one thing but just treating it like it’s peanut butter and gulping down spoonfuls at a time is certainly another. It is disgusting. The texture of it is like rubber almost like you have to chew this creamy cheese mix in order to swallow it, although it is claimed to be ‘creamy’ it is more like a paste…lies. It is just another way of ruining cheese, processing it yet again to mask what a great creation cheese actually is. I bet there isn’t even real cheese in it.

Cheese Whiz is by far the nastiest thing Kraft has ever produced, next to their spray cheese which is just as bad. People actually spray cheesy goo all over their meals! Whether it is a pasta sauce or spread on top of a taco either way they are all quite gross. I can recall the one and only time I indulged in the terrors of Cheese Whiz and it was in kindergarten during snack. Every Friday someone would bring in a treat for snack and boy was in for one that week…. My best friend brought in celery with guess what on top? Cheese Whiz…. Ugh. I was her best friend so I felt obligated to eat it even though my stomach was saying DON’T YOU DARE, but I had to we were best friends. So I decided to reach for the smallest one when she came around with it so that I could eat it all in one bite. To my disadvantage they were all huge. At least 3 inches long I’d say. So I braced myself for the worst took one with a smile and placed it on my napkin.

I didn’t want to eat it at all. I was even going to try and hide it in my napkin and just throw it away but then she came and sat down… I was trapped and so I picked it up, bit into it eyes closed and chewed and chewed until I could quickly swallow it. The worst was over and I opened them to see that my friend had gotten up so I stealthily slipped the rest of the contaminated celery stick into my napkin and bolted for the garbage. I was safe but there was an aftertaste in my mouth that I will never forget. The Cheese Whiz had created a coating around my mouth and I needed to be rid of it fast so I chugged my Capri Sun and was finally at peace.

I can honestly say that I have not tried Cheese Whiz ever since kindergarten and do not intend to for the rest of my life. If you like Cheese Whiz that’s okay each to his/her own I guess, I just find it sickening.

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